Also, this is Deme’s ex, NOT mine. 🙂
These are not edited except to remove names. Enjoy!
I’ll try to get a pic up later for ya!
May 26 at 6:07pm
So to be clear:
I am asking you questions because you view relationships differently then I. I myself have never met a woman who is poly because she wanted to be. Or because it seemed natural to her.
Majority of women I have met who did take part in the poly lifestyle did it so they could keep a man. They also seemed really unhappy as well. Not that I want to place your sexual life under a microscope and I hope you do not feel that way.
Just because I believe Marriage should ONLY be between two people does not mean I have cookie cutter relationships. I don’t believe marriage should be limited gender wise
I also believe divorce, separation, and open marriages are proof that people really don’t take commitment seriously. (This is not a personal attack on you it’s how I feel.)
I once dated a man (*****) who was going through the process of becoming a woman at the time. Who now goes by the name ***. I was 17 at the time and we dated for about 8 months and we are still friends.
We met while I get attended classes for my G.E.D at The Harvey Milk School.
***** was a volunteer at The Hetrick Martin Institute.
As a matter of fact that she was the first person to ever find me attractive, take me on a dates, and gave me my first kiss, and she show me that gender plays no role in what makes people love one another.
I also realized I was Bi-Sexual and she was the person I first told.
After I got my GED I got a job working at The Hetrick Martin Institute.
I also got a (paid) internship at APICHA and helped run a group that worked with women transition over to men. I also worked at the clinic and did outreach work in the many transgender community’s in NYC. I did this from ages 18 to 23).
” As an aside, it seems that transsexuals must present quite the conundrum for you.”
**When you assume you make an ass out of you not
Today at 5:40pm
As your last message addresses two different issues, I will respond to each.
If you read my last reply on being poly, you will recall that I said I am very happy living my life this way. So, you have definitely met at least one woman happy to be poly, and to whom it feels natural. In fact, the decision to have an open relationship was mine, not Deme’s, and the decision to continue to have one has also been mine.
Absolutely I did not choose to be poly to keep Deme. For one thing, I have sex with other people MUCH more frequently than he does, and an involving secondary relationship which at this time he does not have, so if anything things are skewed in my direction.
I take my commitment very seriously. I have from the start. Marriage is, and has been through centuries, a business partnership, covering economic and child-rearing facets. In that view, the commitment to raising our children together is paramount to both of us, and we have in the past and will in the future set aside or worked through all differences to focus on that task. For the love side, there is a commitment to maintaining our friendship, to working through problems in ways that are respectful of each of us and our needs, but in general I would not use the word “commitment.” There is a *connection* between Deme and myself that is undeniable. This too has been there from the start, and this is why despite so many obstacles we always find each other again. It is not something I expect anyone else to understand – who understands any relationship really but those in it? Sexually, when we were monogamous I was quite successful in staying monogamous. It just does not make me as happy to be monogamous as being poly I can explore other relationships – mostly friendships – without the need to hold back an integral part of myself.
As for gender:
I agree that gender has no bearing on love or attraction, at least certainly not for me. What I had meant by that line I realize was a bit snarky, but is simple: if you view gender as unimportant, then it perplexes me how you can dismiss an entire gender as “not having real feelings.”