TT Day 3 of 84

Yesterday’s fast went very well except for the end. One should not break a fast with wine, trust me on this. To make matters worse, we were missing one of our normal wine-sharing people at rehearsal and for some unaccountable reason I felt obliged to drink her portion as well! What I was thinking, I could not tell you. I can say I knew going home I was pretty drunk, so when I made a bad eating decision and ate not one but *two* bags of potato chips, I kept the bags in my pocket so I would remember to record them today. Good thing too as I know I would have forgotten altogether otherwise!

Still, despite my indiscretions in breaking my fast, the scale was moving in the right direction this morning, and though I somehow do not recall an…intimate encounter…I am not hungover either so it wasn’t as bad as it could have been. Next time however I need a plan in place for breaking my fast.

I did get to the gym for my intervals workout yesterday, though I went at 2 instead of at 1 as my coworker requested that. In general I will be going at 1 every work day. My plan is to go to the gym every week day on my lunch break even when I don’t have a TT workout scheduled. In this way, building the habit of going will be much easier – my default option. On non-workout days I have several options: steady state cardio, pilates, salsa practice or handstand practice.

I skipped my salsa classes yesterday, in favor of talking to a friend online that I have not spoken to in a while. We got into a very interesting discussion on the impact of sex on friendships . I did of course go to my salsa rehearsal at 9:30, where I ran into the aforementioned bottle of wine. My legs felt fine during rehearsal, not too sore at all, though I was a bit off balance but I am 98% sure that was due to wearing my performance shoes (with quite high heels) instead of the dance sneakers I’ve been fond of lately. Also, from my prior experience with HIIT I knew to hold back just a bit so I could walk later!

 

Today’s goals:

Eat well at work (this is easy for me – fruit, salad and larabars are my workplace staple)

Eat supportively at home (tonight that means having a big salad with curried sunflower seed pate and indulging in a small piece of my sister’s homemade pizza – she is making it nondairy by using buffalo milk mozzarella and I know better than to think I will abstain totally, the key here is moderation)

Weights workout B (I may try and do intervals as well using a jumprope, or I may do them at the gym today or tomorrow) after dinner, no excuses

Complete my evening routines fully. This morning was a wash as I overslept, though the house looked pretty good so clearly my past few days of dedication to my routines is keeping me in good stead.

 

TT Day 2 of 84

Yes, I have switched back top counting “up” instead of “down”…

 

Last night went better than I expected. The extra coffee I had on my way home didn’t hurt any, I’m sure!

Foodwise yesterday was not great but not bad either. Raw-wise, not so hot…

AM: large coffee with soy, Cashew Cookie (Larabar)
Lunch: large salad (spinach, cauliflower, scallions, red cabbage, orange pepper, snow peas, cucumber and oil and vinegar) with curried sunflower seed pate, large glass of water with lime
PM: large coffee with soy
Dinner/snacking: half a grapefruit (too sour to finish!), 2 sunnyside-up eggs, spoonful of peanut butter I should not have had, and a bit of the Japanese sunflower seed pate
Post-workout: one potato with olive oil and curry powder (ummm yeah…I like curry)

OK on to my evening. Coming home I was somewhat tired but not as bad as I expected. Once I got home, dinner for the kids came together quickly since there were leftovers that I could reheat. I also made my younger daughter two eggs as she loves them and that is how I ended up eating eggs lol. Getting the kids to bed went very smoothly and I cleaned up as I went so once they were asleep there wasn’t too much left to be done. I was thinking about doing my chores first, but decided I had better work out ASAP before I passed out – I was beginning to drag a LOT.

I did the weights Workout A from the Beginnner TT.  (I will do the intervals today at the gym during my lunch break.) I had done one “test” workout from the Intermediate last week and decided that starting slower is not a bad thing – it’s been a long time since I’ve done any weights, a year and a half I think. Because of that, I also tried to keep it challenging but not too heavy, so that I can walk come tomorrow LOL! All this is to say that I am not beating myself up over using 8 pound dumbbells as I’m sure I will get my strength up again pretty soon.

The workout itself felt pretty good. The stability ball exercise is killer, and I don’t even think I did it right the first go around! Working out gave me a good burst of energy, and I ended up finishing my chores for the evening with energy for doing a little bit more – except for packing my lunch, which I put off in favor of sleep as I can pick up salad at the cafeteria today and happened to have money set aside for it. (NOTE: I ended up deciding to fast today.) Even so, by the time I was done showering I did not get to bed until midnight or so. On the upside, I’ve been getting back in the hang of using a neti pot, which is nifty!

My goals for today: I am fasting today (after I finish this coffee lol!). I also will be doing my intervals from Workout A at the gym today at 1pm, and probably doing some Pilates stuff or salsa practice a bit since the intervals won’t take me that long. For my “off day” 30 minutes, I will be walking to the dance studio after work. Then I have a full evenig of salsa classes (3 hourlong classes plus an hour and a half rehearsal). I don’t count my dancing for my “off day” activity as it is nothing new for me (and clearly if I was going to lose weight from it it would have happened alread LOL!)

How can you help? Ask me about the intervals after 2pm!

Body Transformation Redux

Or, Getting Shit Together One Piece at a Time

I am done with excuses. I’ve had a great many perfectly reasonable “reasons” for not having worked out in the past three weeks. None of them matter however.

So last night, after I got home at 1am, I did all the chores on my ostensible checklist (I have a nifty chart I wanna generate from this, but I digress…). Washed dishes, put away laundry, cleaned the kitchen and mopped the floor, picked out clothes for today, and then shower etc. I had soaked sunflower seeds to make a pate out of but I didn’t want to run the food processor in the middle of the night so I got all the ingredients together and threw them in the container (actually, I did two variations – curry and Japanese) so that this morning all I had to do was dump the contents of the container into the food proccessor and turn a knob. Rinse, repeat, two yummy pates done.

This morning, I woke up after 3 hours of sleep surprisingly awake. I ran upstairs, blended the pates, and made two quick salads (one for Deme) with spinach, orange pepper, cauliflower, scallions, red cabbage, snow peas, cucumber and oil and vinegar, plus the curry pate. All of which, plus getting dressed, took me about 25 minutes.

So why so fanatical about doing my routines fully? Simple. The busier I am, the more important staying on top of everything becomes. The house being messy, being behind on the laundry, these are all luxuries that I can ill afford when I have so much I am choosing to put on my plate. Tonight when I get home I will make dinner, put the kids to bed, and then workout. After that, I will do the same cleaning up as last night, and start some more sprouts. One of the benefits to having a thorough evening/bedtime routine is that while you clean more frequently, each time actually gets easier and faster since it was not very bad since the last time (say, a day ago) you did it (there is a point of diminishing returns of course lol!) So while it seems that mopping my kitchen every night is harder, it really makes my life much *easier*.

I’ll post an update on tonight’s workout tomorrow – I fully expect it to kick my butt, but it’s all good. Do me a favor? Stay on my ass! If you don’t see a post tomorrow, bug me about it. In fact, I am going to think today about what leverage I can use against myself as it were. – something that I pledge to do if I miss my 3 workouts in a week. What do you think? Suggestions?

It bananas! It's a heart! It's yummy.

Exes With Issues – Episode 8

Some interesting things happened with this last Episode. Mainly, The Ex found out that I have been posting these convos for all to see. Unsurprisingly, she was not pleased at all. She left some very volatile remarks on the original Facebook Note I had posted as Episode 1, but either realized that by doing so she was publicly identifying herself, or just decided she didn’t want her full rantings aired, so she deleted them. Luckily for you all, I have them in my email! What follows is in time order.

Also, check out Episode 7.5, wherein The Ex takes out her issues with my marriage on a friend’s page!

***************************************

******
Today at 9:55pm

Below are some issues I have had with you. Thus me reaching out to you to deal it whit and move on. In talking to you I have a understanding of who you are as a person. To me you have always been a stranger you always got that “What The Fuck” reaction from me. You also bring out the “Fuck You” in me as well.

So below are the three issues I had. The first two I am over. I have clarity, NEW perspective and I am more willing to hear people out. Even people I don’t really care for.
(I know the feeling goes both ways.)

Then:
Deme pulled a huge mind fuck on me and I am try to gain some sanity.
Clearly I will never get that from him. You reward a man for being a liar and an asshole. Any person who cheats and lies over and over does not love anyone other then themselves. End of story. And yet you reward him. I like to think most people want to be with someone who is loyal and honest. Not an asshole.

Now:
I would think a Poly Relationship would be based on honesty. I like to believe you are a honest person who should be with another honest person. I am happy you found that in another relationship.

Then:
You and Deme live the lifestyle of a single people yet you both believe you are entitled to marriage. Marriage is a legal agreement between two people in a committed and monogamous relationship. People who are married get benefits and social rewards for that.

I don’t get benefits and rewards for fucking anything with a pulse why you two?
I feel this towards anyone who is in an open marriage. I don’t care what people do in bed but getting a hook up for sleeping around is not fair.

Now:
I still don’t agree in Poly Open Marriages. However its good to know that there are women who are into it because it is right for them. Not because it makes a man happy.

Then:
For someone who is a dancer you are really unaware of yourself. The tone you use towards me, how your body langue changes near me, and the wording of the messages you and I have exchanged.

Now:
You are passive aggressive at times. I act the same way at times. So I am familiar with the behavior. It’s something I am working on and if anything you have reinforced that lesson. I can’t expect you to change. But I believe I can.

So that’s basically it. I have said everything I have wanted to say.
Knowing I’m sure you and Deme got some amusement out of all this, I don’t expect you to take anything seriously.

Ginger Baker
Today at 11:23pm

The issues you have:
1) I am with an honest person. Actually, two. Thank you for your support. On another note, I am sorry that Deme hurt you so much. I don’t believe that was his intention.

2) There are quite a few other women I know who chose poly for themselves. As for benefits, I don’t think tax benefits should go to someone for being married. I think it goes part in parcel with having kids, marital status should not matter.

3) If you believe I was passive aggresive in our recent message exchanges, I must wonder just which other option you would have suggested: a) outright aggressive, b) ignore, c) be completely passive.

I did find some amusement. Would you rather I have been angry?

************
Comments on my Note:
****** made a comment about your note “Exes With Issues, Episode 1!”:

Wow you are a stupid bitch who will never learn.

****** made a comment about your note “Exes With Issues, Episode 1!”:

BITCH THAT ASSHOLE WANTED TO FUCK AND DATE ME WHILE HE WAS MARRIED TO YOU!!! I WAS HONEST. I WAS THE ONE WHO HAD MORE RESPECT FOR YOU THEN HE DID. ALSO WHAT MAN LEAVES HIS WIFE BEFORE SHE GIVES BIRTH? AN ASSHOLE THAT’S WHO. WHEN LIKE YOU ARE SO FUCKING STUPID.

Scrawled by Ginger Baker ’round about 10:24 in the evenin’ Month o’ May 27

If you were honest, I would have found out from you and not the Internet, don’t you think?

************

u know what
Between You and ******

******
Today at 10:43pm

you are the one who slept with a married man before.
Karma is a bitch.

you took that asshole back after he pulled that shit more then once.
you fucked up.

I may have issues but you are a stupid bitch.
And you can’t fix that.

you two should are good for one another.

Ginger Baker
Today at 11:39pm

We are very good for each other. You have no idea.

******
Today at 11:40pm

i can see.

***********************************

******
Today at 11:37pm

You found out online because it was not my place to tell you.
It was Deme’s.

I wrote a blog because i wanted avdice from people.
I didn’t think you would read it at all.

It may have been wroung to be so public about it.
I get it.
I was being a child about it.

But the fact that you are acting this way… WOW.

If you wanna blame me for something you did to yourself to feel better fine.

I’m working on my issues and that’s somethng anyone can fix.
You are stupid and that’s not something you can fix.

HAVE A GOOD LIFE.

Ginger Baker
Today at 11:48pm

I did not find out from your blog, but from an email that I had no business reading, but I knew something was wrong so I did anyway.

I did not act “this way” – all I did was post what was written between us. After the first one I basically did not comment at all, and I took your name out of all of them. But I’ll be damned if I was going to sit here and put up with you raving at me about things that are old and I frankly don’t care about, and stay calm with you in the face of all that anger, without getting something – in this case amusement – in return.

*****
Today at 12:05am

Keep feeding into it.

Ginger Baker
Today at 12:06am

******
Today at 12:06am

And at last we have reached what, I believe, will be the end. Of course, this now means I will have to come up with other shit to post about here!

 

Not Deme. Cute ain't he?

Exes With Issues – Episode 7.5

So just before Episode 8 occurred, a friend posted something on her FB page, and The Ex replied…and ended up taking out all her issues with my marriage on my poor Lovely Random Friend’s page. I stayed out of it, not wanting to instigate things. At the conclusion of Episode 8, The Ex defriended my Lovely Random Friend. Apparently, being associated with me at all is Too Much for The Ex! Anyway, since she had to put up with all this, Lovely Random Friend requested to be included in Episode 8. However, Episode 8 turned out to be quite long, so instead I am giving Lovely Random Friend a whole post of her own! Enjoy!

************************

Lovely Random Friend just saw an anti-gay marriage add on youtube in with a link about contacting your state senators as one of their sponsors.

****** at 4:26pm May 26
If people want to ’save marriage’ then you would think people would be anti divorce and anti open marriages.

Lovely Random Friend at 5:03pm May 26
most of them are.

****** at 5:14pm May 26

GOOD!!!

Divorce, Separation, and Open Marriages should be gone all together. People who support Divorce, Separation, and Open Marriages are for people who do not take commitment seriously.

(When it comes to marriage I am traditional in that one sense).

Marriage is a LIFE LONG Commitment till death you part between two people.
Gender play’s NO ROLE in that.

Lovely Random Friend at 5:25pm May 26

I think there is a difference between commitment and monogamy. Commitment means you are committed to being with a person, monogamy means your not going to be with anyone else. I think open marriages are fine as long as there is honesty, communication, and the people involved have the same amount of power and say in the relationship.

***** at 6:30pm May 26

Marriage is a commitment.
Commitment is for people who can do monogamy.

If you are not willing to build a life with another person, put in the time and emotional energy into that relationship or be with the person you are married to till death you part.

People in open marriages are just as bad as:
1. People who get married for a green card.
2. People who get married for issuance.
3. Women who marry really old rich men so they can get money when the old man dies.

Nor should they get the benefits from marriage either.

You can’t have your cake and eat it too.

Lovely Random Friend at 7:43pm May 26

You can if you have a lot of cake.

****** at 10:29pm May 26

Sex without love is basically using a some else’s body to bust a nut. So if you are okay with being some man’s sex object then that’s fine. But don’t expect him to love you for anything else other then your vagina.

Lovely Random Friend had some GREAT potential replies to this, but held back as her dad reads her page!

Some other friends did step into the fray the next day though.

Scrawled by Helpful Friend #1 round about 8:47 in the evenin’ Month o’ May 28 (Ahem…I have set my FB to PIRATE!)

I agree with Wanda Sykes:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XcnFnLkJbV8
It’s very simple, if you don’t believe in same-sex marriage, then don’t marry somebody of the same sex. I don’t understand people all up in arms over shit that don’t affect them.
If you want to protect the sanctity of marriage, ban divorce. Make marriage like the mafia: Once you’re in, you’re in. I mean, the murder rate will go up, but you now, hey.

Ms. Sykes is a living example of the benefits of both divorce and gay marriage. She was married to a man, realized she was gay, divorced him, and is now married to a loving wife. And everybody lived happily ever after.

As a social worker who works with homeless women who are trying to leave abusive relationships, I take offense at anyone who says “ban divorce.”; Largely due to the lobbying of the Catholic Church, it is actually very hard to get a divorce in NYC, especially if you have no money and especially if your spouse is controlling and fights it.

Scrawled by Lovely Random Friend round about 10:51 in the evenin’ Month o’ May 28
You’re just saying that so you can get married and then divorced to each of the 60 men you’re seeing .

Scrawled by Helpful Friend #2 ’round about 12:52 in the mornin’ Month o’ May 29
I always say, NO divorce for straights. But Johanna just made me feel guilty about it.

Scrawled by Helpful Friend #1 round about 1:49 in the mornin’ Month o’ May 29
oh LRF, you know me so well!
#2: lol! divorce is only for the gays? but seriously, it is a real problem that religious lobbying (amongst other things) has made divorce so inaccessible for so many in this state. and when you are poor and trying to leave a violent situation, you don’t have any good options. for example, if you are legally married, you cannot access shelters in NYC unless you and your spouse are together. so people leaving a violent spouse cannot access safe shelter because they cannot access divorce. because in NY state you NEED at least $300 and your spouse’s permission to get a no-fault divorce. lacking either of those things, you’re screwed.
it boggles my mind that adults can be forced to remain in legal relationships that they want out of.

Scrawled by Helpful Friend #2 ’round about 9:31 in the mornin’ Month o’ May 29
Damn. I knew about the $300 part but I never really thought about the rest. That’s exactly why marriage needs to be recognized as a purely legal contract.

Scrawled by Helpful Friend #1 ’round about 9:27 in the evenin’ Month o’ May 29
word. and people (like religious lobbyists or whoever) need to not be so concerned with other people’s relationships. as wanda sykes said, i don’t understand people all up in arms over shit that don’t affect them!

Exes With Issues – Episode 7

Missed the previous Episodes? Catch up here: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4 and The Prequel, Episode 5, Episode 6.

Also, this is Deme’s ex, NOT mine.

These are not edited except to remove names. Enjoy!

I’ll try to get a pic up later for ya!
********************************************

******
May 26 at 6:07pm

So to be clear:

I am asking you questions because you view relationships differently then I. I myself have never met a woman who is poly because she wanted to be. Or because it seemed natural to her.

Majority of women I have met who did take part in the poly lifestyle did it so they could keep a man. They also seemed really unhappy as well. Not that I want to place your sexual life under a microscope and I hope you do not feel that way.

Just because I believe Marriage should ONLY be between two people does not mean I have cookie cutter relationships. I don’t believe marriage should be limited gender wise

I also believe divorce, separation, and open marriages are proof that people really don’t take commitment seriously. (This is not a personal attack on you it’s how I feel.)

I once dated a man (*****) who was going through the process of becoming a woman at the time. Who now goes by the name ***. I was 17 at the time and we dated for about 8 months and we are still friends.

We met while I get attended classes for my G.E.D at The Harvey Milk School.

***** was a volunteer at The Hetrick Martin Institute.

As a matter of fact that she was the first person to ever find me attractive, take me on a dates, and gave me my first kiss, and she show me that gender plays no role in what makes people love one another.
I also realized I was Bi-Sexual and she was the person I first told.

After I got my GED I got a job working at The Hetrick Martin Institute.

I also got a (paid) internship at APICHA and helped run a group that worked with women transition over to men. I also worked at the clinic and did outreach work in the many transgender community’s in NYC. I did this from ages 18 to 23).

” As an aside, it seems that transsexuals must present quite the conundrum for you.”

**When you assume you make an ass out of you not

Ginger Baker
Today at 5:40pm

As your last message addresses two different issues, I will respond to each.

Re: poly
If you read my last reply on being poly, you will recall that I said I am very happy living my life this way. So, you have definitely met at least one woman happy to be poly, and to whom it feels natural. In fact, the decision to have an open relationship was mine, not Deme’s, and the decision to continue to have one has also been mine.

Absolutely I did not choose to be poly to keep Deme. For one thing, I have sex with other people MUCH more frequently than he does, and an involving secondary relationship which at this time he does not have, so if anything things are skewed in my direction.

I take my commitment very seriously. I have from the start. Marriage is, and has been through centuries, a business partnership, covering economic and child-rearing facets. In that view, the commitment to raising our children together is paramount to both of us, and we have in the past and will in the future set aside or worked through all differences to focus on that task. For the love side, there is a commitment to maintaining our friendship, to working through problems in ways that are respectful of each of us and our needs, but in general I would not use the word “commitment.” There is a *connection* between Deme and myself that is undeniable. This too has been there from the start, and this is why despite so many obstacles we always find each other again. It is not something I expect anyone else to understand – who understands any relationship really but those in it? Sexually, when we were monogamous I was quite successful in staying monogamous. It just does not make me as happy to be monogamous as being poly I can explore other relationships – mostly friendships – without the need to hold back an integral part of myself.

As for gender:
I agree that gender has no bearing on love or attraction, at least certainly not for me. What I had meant by that line I realize was a bit snarky, but is simple: if you view gender as unimportant, then it perplexes me how you can dismiss an entire gender as “not having real feelings.”

Exes With Issues – Episode 6: The Poly Issue

Please see Episode 5 for the message I am replying to (in red).

Missed the previous Episodes? Catch up here: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4 and The Prequel.

Also, this is Deme’s ex, NOT mine.

These are not edited except to remove names. Enjoy!
********************************************

Ginger Baker

Today at 2:23am

I am poly for a number of reasons.

The main reason is that I have realized that there is no need to fear “losing” love. Love is limitless. When I realized that I have love in abundance, I looked around and realized that limiting myself in romantic-love made about as much sense as not having a second child for fear that I might not “love that one as much.” This is a real and serious concern for some parents, but I was never worried about it, and it just doesn’t work that way. So that it at the core of why being polyamorous works for me.

Now as it happened, Deme and I were “open” but not poly at first. By that I mean we started off (after getting back together) free with our sexual encounters but not getting emotionally involved with others. This was easy because our experience being separated showed us clearly that fucking other people in no way affected our feelings for each other. Jealousy was never an issue – if anything we both enjoy hearing about the other’s dates. So the physical openness started before we crossed the emotional line – and crossing that line did take a great deal of communication in the beginning, and of course still today.

Being polyamorous for me does not mean that I am “lacking” anything in Deme. Instead it is that I enjoy having close friendships, and being monogamous makes that very hard for me. By default, in order to stay monogamous easily and not be tempted, I keep my distance from other people. I am a very sexual person by nature, and the people I am attracted to as friends of course I find attractive sexually over time as well. While it could be argued that I could have close friends by turning off that sexual aspect of me, that part of me is integral to who I am. In fact, in looking over the past I have come to realize that the times when I am depressed correlate strongly with the times when I have essentially turned off my flirtatious nature.

Having friendships outside of my marriage, where I no longer need to worry about constantly staying on my guard, makes things much better for my relationship with Deme. In particular, it removes two sources of stress: 1) that when Deme is my only friend, I want to spend an obsessive amount of time with him, and 2) I would then be jealous when he wanted to spend time going out with other friends (see #1). Many of my current friendships do not end up going down a sexual path, but because I no longer have to worry about it, I no longer have to cut myself off from people to avoid potential cheating. In addition, my boyfriend is extremely supportive of Deme, and has been invaluable at time when I am upset with Deme for something – he always is there to calm me down and help me see all the good things in Deme. Many a time I have realized my own mistakes in a fight much more quickly because my boyfriend will gently point out Deme’s side.

There is much more I could say about this topic, but suffice it to say that I am very happy this way, and our marriage is stronger than it has been at any time in the past.

As an aside, it seems that transexuals must present quite the conundrum for you.

Glitter and glam

Exes With Issues, Episode 5!

Missed the previous Episodes? Catch up here: Episode 1, Episode 2, Episode 3, Episode 4 and The Prequel.

Also, this is Deme’s ex, NOT mine.

These are not edited except to remove names. Enjoy!
********************************************

******
May 13 at 2:55pm

If you money is a issue when it comes to going back to school.

There are lots of programs and organizations that give money to single women to go to school.

Also studies have shown that white women or more likely to get hired, receive promotions, get into college and, get paid more money over Hispanic, Asian, or Women Of Color.

Plus you are The Standard Jen.
It’s a sad fact of life.

Not like you would understand.
***************************************
I am not telling you what to do.
But if someone Say’s to me “I Wish…” I tell whoever to do something about it and stop wishing.
***************************************
As far as guilt goes.

I realized now that I never did anything.
I never told lies or 1/2 truths.
I never tried to seduce anyone.

At the time:
I felt guilty for not walking away from temptation.
I felt guilty for having sexual fantasy’s about a married man.
I never did act out on them but I felt guilty for having them.

I also got my heart broken.
I even felt guilty for that.

Feeling guilt over feelings is shitty.
You can’t possibly imagine what it is like to feel guilt over having a broken heart.

I never allowed myself to heal from it for a long time.
When I got over my guilt.

It took me long time to comes to terms with everything and now that I am clear headed about it I am creating an opportunity for myself to address it.

I about to be done with school and nyc as a whole.
If I am going to move on fully then I need all my skulls out of the closet and start freash. That means getting rid of all my bagage.

You may have never needed a freash Start from life. I
hope you never do. But sometimes you need to go back to go foward.
***************************************
I felt like since you and I both got fucked over in our own way.
Maybe you could bring some light.

Like I said before.
I am asking you to be understanding and you can’t be.
I’m glad that what happened 3 to 4 years ago did not affect you.

Maybe you deal with hurt better then I do.
Maybe you are like Deme and don’t have real feelings.
Maybe you are being dismissive because you can’t deal and this is to painful.
***************************************

Have that last word if you want.

Ginger Baker
May 13 at 2:58pm

I think perhaps you are confused over one point: I am not single. Deme and I are together, and were never “legally” separated anyway.

I will respond to the rest of your message soon, but I wanted to clear that up.

******
May 13 at 3:07pm

Do you really care that much if I call you single?
Or are you trying to rub it in my face that you “won” Deme and I ‘lost’.

Ginger Baker
May 13 at 3:12pm

Not at all. You said “There are lots of programs and organizations that give money to single women to go to school.” I was just clarifying the point that I do not, in fact, qualify for those funds.

******
May 13 at 3:23pm

Single and Seperated are kind of the same right?
I say single because you have your own apartment / space.
I think there maybe a loop or something.

But I guess you get some of the same benifits as marriage under seperated.
If that plays a role then I guess not. But it can’t hurt to try.

Sorry for bringing that up and the catty like remark.

Ginger Baker
May 13 at 3:28pm

I understand where the confusion is coming from now. When I moved into my apartment, Deme and I were not together. But we reconciled some 2 or 3 years ago now, so while we have our own spaces, we are married (legally and emotionally) and together, similar to how guys often have a “den” in a 2 story house.

Diversion Message into the POLY thing – Separate Post on this coming soon!
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May 13 at 3:56pm

Okay so:

Since you are polly.

Is that why you don’t care about what happened?

If you are married legally and emotionally then how come you have a boyfriend outside of that? How come he (the boyfriend) or Deme not enough for you?

I can understand why men are polly but not why women are.
Women are known for having real emotions.
Men don’t.

I’m curious that’s why I am asking.
You don’t have to answer.

I understand not all reashionships outside of marriage are black and white.

However marriage is two people together in love making a life / family with one another. I also support same sex unions. However Marriage is two people.

This is another topic. If you don’t want to touch it that’s fine. What works for some does not work for others.

Ginger Baker
May 13 at 3:58pm
Re: Poly, I will absolutely reply to this, but it will have to wait until tomorrow so that I have time to put my thoughts together in a way that will be understandable.

Ginger Baker
Today at 11:20pm
Money is only partly an issue when it comes to school, as I could always take out a loan. The more relevant factor to me is the balance of time. I am very happy to put off school until the kids are older.

Studies show trends over large groups. They are useless to me as an individual.

I do go for the things I “wish” – I don’t do wishes, I do goals. Those goals however work within the framework of my reality.

Guilt for you was never assigned by me. Work it out however feels best for you.

I cannot imagine what it is like to saddle yourself with so much guilt, this is true. I am not one for holding onto such things, I prefer to live in the present rather than in the past.

I am glad that you are giving yourself a fresh start.

I am not sure what you want me to bring light onto – is there something specific you are looking for me to clear up?

What happened then did affect me, in a big way. It helped me learn that I can choose to be angry, or choose to be happy, and it taught me that I really don’t *like* being angry. It makes me physically ill. So I let it dissipate, since it only hurts me to hold onto it.

As for getting fucked over, I have made my peace with that long long ago.

Stumble this post if you liked it!

Making Raw “Ice Cream”

Making banana-based raw “ice creams” is extremely simple. You just need a blender or food processor, a freezer, and some fruit.

Step 1: Peel and freeze a good bunch of extremely ripe bananas. You want them to be nice and speckly brown at minimum. Keep in mind a mushy texture will not matter as you are blending them anyway.

Step 2: Do the same with whatever fruit you choose to add. Note: Plain banana is delicious too! I add cinnamon and nutmeg to banana-only for that extra oomph.

Prepping fruit for freezer

Step 3: Wait until everything is nice and frozen. Then take it out and put it in the blender or food processor.

Ready to blend

Step 4: Blend. You may need to stop it once or twice and use a spoon to get it started blending, and/or add a small amount of water (I usually don’t).

All blended

Step 5: Stick it back in the freezer to solidify a bit more.

I have the lid somewhere around here...

Step 6: Enjoy your delicious totally guilt-free frozen treat!

Tri-color sherbert raw style! Kiwi, mango and strawberry. Delicious!

YUM!

Be Careful What You Sneak!

This is a story written by my sister some time ago about Ana. As it ties into my post about trying food more than once, I thought I’d share!
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Ana doesn’t like licorice. She devours fennel, but licorice isn’t her thing. Well, more for the rest of us.

Today, I desperately had to shower… and the cornstarch trick only made it more desperate, so I set them in front of TV for 22 minutes while I did this. Doors wide open and all that. Left the licorice where they could get it, because they don’t like it.

Peek my head in, guess what Ana’s trying to sneak?

And I *told* her, as I took it away, that she doesn’t like it anyway, and do you know what that girl had the unmitigated gall to say? The nerve? The chutzpah, in fact?

“But, Connie, you have to try it more than once!”

Which of course is what we always tell her about carrots and eggwhites and other foods of dubious nutrition. NOT, I must repeat, NOT candies and licorice that we don’t want to have to share anyway!

Well, I laughed. Aaaaaaaand… then I said she was quite right and here, she could try another piece just to see. They’re kinda big pieces, too.

Well, she put the whole piece in her mouth, and she chewed, and she chewed, and she smiled at me and pointed towards the door… and me? I waited. And waited. And waited, as she kept nodding and smiling and waving towards the door, until I suggested that she try swallowing.

Gotta give her credit, she smiled right up until the point where, halfway through swallowing, she realized she couldn’t fake it anymore and spat it right out. “I don’t like this Connie!”

Well, that’s why I didn’t bother hiding it, Ana! Who’d expect her to sneak candy she doesn’t like anyway? And it’s not like I didn’t warn her.